- If I only knew, - the thought to
herself, 'which was neck and which was waist!
Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing for a
minute or two. When he DID speak again, it was in a deep growl.
- It is a - MOST - PROVOKING - thing, - he said at last, - when a
person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!
- I know it's very ignorant of me, - Alice said, in so humble a tone
that Humpty Dumpty relented.
- It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It's a
present from the White King and Queen. There now!
- Is it really? - said Alice, quite pleased to find that she HAD
chosen a good subject, after all.
- They gave it me, - Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he
crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, - they
gave it me - for an un-birthday present.
- I beg your pardon? - Alice said with a puzzled air.
- I'm not offended, - said Humpty Dumpty.
- I mean, what IS and un-birthday present?
- A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course. Alice
considered a little. - I like birthday presents best, - she
said at last.
- You don't know what you're talking about! - cried Humpty Dumpty. -
How many days are there in a year?
- Three hundred and sixty-five, - said Alice.
- And how many birthdays have you?
- One.
- And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five, what
remains?
- Three hundred and sixty-four, of course. Humpty Dumpty looked
doubtful. - I'd rather see that done on paper,
he said.
Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out her memorandum- book, and
worked the sum for him:

365
1
---
364
---

Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked at it carefully. - That seems
to be done right - he began.
- You're holding it upside down! - Alice interrupted.
- To be sure I was! - Humpty Dumpty said gaily, as she turned it
round for him. - I thought it looked a little queer. As I was saying, that
SEEMS to be done right - though I haven't time to look it over thoroughly
just now - and that shows that there are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents
- Certainly, - said Alice.
- And only ONE for birthday presents, you know. There's glory for
you!
- I don't know what you mean by "glory," - Alice said. Humpty Dumpty
smiled contemptuously. - Of course you don't - till I
tell you. I meant "there's a nice knock-down argument for you!"
- But "glory" doesn't mean "a nice knock-down argument," - Alice
objected.
- When _I_ use a word, - Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful
tone, - it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.
- The question is, - said Alice, - whether you CAN make words mean so
many different things.
- The question is, - said Humpty Dumpty, - which is to be master
that's all.
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty
Dumpty began again. - They've a temper, some of them -particularly verbs,
they're the proudest - adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs
- however, _I_ can manage the whole of them! Impenetrability! That's what
_I_ say!
- Would you tell me, please, - said Alice - what that means?
- Now you talk like a reasonable child, - said Humpty Dumpty, looking
very much pleased. - I meant by "impenetrability" that we've had enough of
that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean
to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest of your
life.
- That's a great deal to make one word mean, - Alice said in a
thoughtful tone.
- When I make a word do a lot of work like that, - said Humpty
Dumpty, - I always pay it extra.
- Oh! - said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other
remark.
- Ah, you should see - em come round me of a Saturday night, - Humpty
Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side: - for to get
their wages, you know.
(Alice didn't venture to ask what he paid them with; and so you see I
can't tell YOU.)
- You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir, - said Alice. -
Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called "Jabberwocky"?
- Let's hear it, - said Humpty Dumpty. - I can explain all the poems
that were ever invented - and a good many that haven't been invented just
yet.
This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse:

- Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

- That's enough to begin with, - Humpty Dumpty interrupted: - there
are plenty of hard words there. "BRILLIG" means four o'clock in the
afternoon - the time when you begin BROILING things for dinner.
- That'll do very well, - said Alice: and "SLITHY"?
- Well, "SLITHY" means "lithe and slimy." "Lithe" is the same as
"active." You see it's like a portmanteau - there are two meanings packed
up into one word.
- I see it now, - Alice remarked thoughtfully: - and what are
"TOVES"?
- Well, "TOVES - are something like badgers - they're something like
lizards - and they're something like corkscrews.
- They must be very curious looking creatures.
- They are that, - said Humpty Dumpty: - also they make their nests
under sun-dials - also they live on cheese.
- Andy what's the "GYRE" and to "GIMBLE"?
- To "GYRE" is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To "GIMBLE" is
to make holes like a gimblet.
- And "THE WABE" is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose? said
Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity.
- Of course it is. It's called "WABE," you know, because it goes a
long way before it, and a long way behind it
- And a long way beyond it on each side, - Alice added.
- Exactly so. Well, then, "MIMSY" is "flimsy and miserable" (there's
another portmanteau for you). And a "BOROGOVE" is a thing shabby-looking
bird with its feathers sticking out all round something like a live mop.
- And then "MOME RATHS"? - said Alice. - I'm afraid I'm giving you a
great deal of trouble.
- Well, a "RATH" is a sort of green pig: but "MOME" I'm not certain
about. I think it's short for "from home" - meaning that they'd lost their
way, you know.
- And what does "OUTGRABE" mean?
- Well, "OUTGRIBING" is something between bellowing and whistling,
with a kind of sneeze in the middle: however, you'll hear it done, maybe -
down in the wood yonder - and when you've once heard it you'll be QUITE
content. Who's been repeating all that hard stuff to you?
- I read it in a book, - said Alice. - But I had some poetry repeated
to me, much easier than that, by - Tweedledee, I think it was.
- As to poetry, you know, - said Humpty Dumpty, stretching out one of
his great hands, - _I_ can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it
comes to that
- Oh, it needn't come to that! - Alice hastily said, hoping to keep
him from beginning.
- The piece I'm going to repeat, - he went on without noticing her
remark, - was written entirely for your amusement.
Alice felt that in that case she really OUGHT to listen to it, so she
sat down, and said - Thank you - rather sadly.

- In winter, when the fields are white,
I sing this song for your delight

only I don't sing it, - he added, as an explanation. - I see you
don't, - said Alice. - If you can SEE whether I'm singing or not, you're
sharper eyes
than most. - Humpty Dumpty remarked severely. Alice was silent.

- In spring, when woods are getting green,
I'll try and tell you what I mean.

- Thank you very much, - said Alice.

- In summer, when the days are long,
Perhaps you'll understand the song:
In autumn, when the leaves are brown,
Take pen and ink, and write it down.

- I will, if I can remember it so long, - said Alice.
- You needn't go on making remarks like that, - Humpty Dumpty said: -
they're not sensible, and they put me out.

- I sent a message to the fish:
I told them "This is what I wish."

The little fishes of the sea,
They sent an answer back to me.

The little fishes - answer was
"We cannot do it, Sir, because - "

- I'm afraid I don't quite understand, - said Alice.
- It gets easier further on, - Humpty Dumpty replied.

- I sent to them again to say
"It will be better to obey."

The fishes answered with a grin,
"Why, what a temper you are in!"

I told them once, I told them twice:
They would not listen to advice.

I took a kettle large and new,
Fit for the deed I had to do.

My heart went hop, my heart went thump;
I filled the kettle at the pump.

Then some one came to me and said,
"The little fishes are in bed.
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