- So do I, - the White Queen whispered: - we'll often say it over
together, dear. And I'll tell you a secret - I can read words of one
letter! Isn't THAT grand! However, don't be discouraged. You'll come to it
in time.
Here the Red Queen began again. - Can you answer useful questions?
she said. - How is bread made?
- I know THAT! - Alice cried eagerly. - You take some flour
- Where do you pick the flower? - the White Queen asked. - In a
garden, or in the hedges?
- Well, it isn't PICKED at all, - Alice explained: - it's GROUND
- How many acres of ground? - said the White Queen. - You mustn't
leave out so many things.
- Fan her head! - the Red Queen anxiously interrupted. - She'll be
feverish after so much thinking. - So they set to work and fanned her with
bunches of leaves, till she had to beg them to leave off, it blew her hair
about so.
- She's all right again now, - said the Red Queen. - Do you know
Languages? What's the French for fiddle-de-dee?
- Fiddle-de-dee's not English, - Alice replied gravely.
- Who ever said it was? - said the Red Queen. Alice thought she saw a
way out of the difficulty this time. - If
you'll tell me what language "fiddle-de-dee" is, I'll tell you the French
for it! - she exclaimed triumphantly.
But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, and said - Queens
never make bargains.
- I wish Queens never asked questions, - Alice thought to herself.
- Don't let us quarrel, - the White Queen said in an anxious tone. -
What is the cause of lightning?
- The cause of lightning, - Alice said very decidedly, for she felt
quite certain about this, - is the thunder - no, no! - she hastily
corrected herself. - I meant the other way.
- It's too late to correct it, - said the Red Queen: - when you've
once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences.
- Which reminds me - the White Queen said, looking down and nervously
clasping and unclasping her hands, - we had SUCH a thunderstorm last
Tuesday - I mean one of the last set of Tuesdays, you know.
Alice was puzzled. - In OUR country, - she remarked, - there's only
one day at a time.
The Red Queen said, - That's a poor thin way of doing things. Now
HERE, we mostly have days and nights two or three at a time, and sometimes
in the winter we take as many as five nights together for warmth, you
know.
- Are five nights warmer than one night, then? - Alice ventured to
ask.
- Five times as warm, of course.
- But they should be five times as COLD, by the same rule
- Just so! - cried the Red Queen. - Five times as warm, AND five
times as cold - just as I'm five times as rich as you are, AND five times
as clever!
Alice sighted and gave it up. - It's exactly like a riddle with no
answer! - she thought.
- Humpty Dumpty saw it too, - the White Queen went on in a low voice,
more as if she were talking to herself. - He came to the door with a
corkscrew in his hand
- What did he want? - said the Red Queen.
- He said he WOULD come in, - the White Queen went on, - because he
was looking for a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened, there wasn't such a
thing in the house, that morning.
- Is there generally? - Alice asked in an astonished tone.
- Well, only on Thursdays, - said the Queen.
- I know what he came for, - said Alice: - he wanted to punish the
fish, because
Here the White Queen began again. - It was SUCH a thunderstorm, you
can't think! - (She NEVER could you know, - said the Red Queen.) - And
part of the roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in - and it went
rolling round the room in great lumps -and knocking over the tables and
things - till I was so frightened, I couldn't remember my own name!
Alice thought to herself, - I never should TRY to remember my name in
the middle of an accident! Where would be the use of it? - but she did not
say this aloud, for fear of hurting the poor Queen's feeling.
- Your Majesty must excuse her, - the Red Queen said to Alice, taking
one of the White Queen's hands in her own, and gently stroking it: - she
means well, but she can't help saying foolish things, as a general rule.
The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who felt she OUGHT to say
something kind, but really couldn't think of anything at the moment.
- She never was really well brought up, - the Red Queen went on: -
but it's amazing how good-tempered she is! Pat her on the head, and see
how pleased she'll be! - But this was more than Alice had courage to do.
- A little kindness - and putting her hair in papers - would do
wonders with her
The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her head on Alice's
shoulder. - I AM so sleepy? - she moaned.
- She's tired, poor thing! - said the Red Queen. - Smooth her hair
lend her your nightcap - and sing her a soothing lullaby.
- I haven't got a nightcap with me, - said Alice, as she tried to
obey the first direction: - and I don't know any soothing lullabies."
- I must do it myself, then, - said the Red Queen, and she began:

- Hush-a-by lady, in Alice's lap!
Till the feast's ready, we've time for a nap:
When the feast's over, we'll go to the ball
Red Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all!

- And now you know the words, - she added, as she put her head down
on Alice's other shoulder, - just sing it through to ME. I'm getting
sleepy, too. - In another moment both Queens were fast asleep, and snoring
loud.
- What AM I to do? exclaimed Alice, looking about in great
perplexity, as first one round head, and then the other, rolled down from
her shoulder, and lay like a heavy lump in her lap. - I don't thing it
EVER happened before, that any one had to take care of two Queens asleep
at once! No, not in all the History of England - it couldn't, you know,
because there never was more than one Queen at a time. Do wake up, you
heavy things! - she went on in an impatient tone; but there was no answer
but a gentle snoring.
The snoring got more distinct every minute, and sounded more like a
tune: at last she could even make out the words, and she listened so
eagerly that, when the two great heads vanished from her lap, she hardly
missed them.
She was standing before an arched doorway over which were the words
QUEEN ALICE in large letters, and on each side of the arch there was a
bell-handle; one was marked - Visitors - Bell, - and the other - Servants
- Bell.
- I'll wait till the song's over, - thought Alice, - and then I'll
ring - the - WHICH bell must I ring? - she went on, very much puzzled by
the names. - I'm not a visitor, and I'm not a servant. There OUGHT to be
one marked "Queen," you know
Just then the door opened a little way, and a creature with a long
beak put its head out for a moment and said - No admittance till the week
after next! - and shut the door again with a bang.
Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long time, but at last, a very
old Frog, who was sitting under a tree, got up and hobbled slowly towards
her: he was dressed in bright yellow, and had enormous boots on.
- What is it, now? - the Frog said in a deep hoarse whisper. Alice
turned round, ready to find fault with anybody. - Where's the
servant whose business it is to answer the door? - she began angrily.
- Which door? - said the Frog. Alice almost stamped with irritation
at the slow drawl in which he
spoke. - THIS door, of course!
The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute:
then he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were trying
whether the paint would come off; then he looked at Alice.
- To answer the door? - he said. - What's it been asking of? - He was
so hoarse that Alice could scarcely hear him.
- I don't know what you mean, - she said.
- I talks English, doesn't I? - the Frog went on. - Or are you deaf?
What did it ask you?
- Nothing! - Alice said impatiently. - I've been knocking at it!
- Shouldn't do that - shouldn't do that - the Frog muttered. - Wexes
it, you know. - Then he went up and gave the door a kick with one of his
great feet. - You let IT alone, - he panted out, as he hobbled back to his
tree, - and it'll let YOU alone, you know.
At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill voice was heard
singing:

- To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said,
"I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head;
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be,
Come and dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me."

And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus:

- Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran:
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!

Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and Alice thought to
herself, - Thirty times three makes ninety. I wonder if any one's
counting? - In a minute there was silence again, and the same shrill voice
sang another verse;

- "O Looking-Glass creatures," quothe Alice, "draw near!
'Tis and honour to see me, a favour to hear:
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